Mentorship 101: How Do You Actually Mentor Someone Successfully? - Part II
In Part 2 of our two-part Essential Mentorship Guide, we explore the keys of how to mentor someone effectively in pursuit of growth with all the tools, tricks and truths of the trade.
Author Marcela Gómez, CEO of Culture Shift Team and multicultural marketing expert, happily shares her personal tools, tricks and truths of the lifelong mentorship trade for growth.
Recap: growth is my raison d’etre—specifically, everyone’s growth, not just mine.
Einstein understood the power of growth compounded among people. This electricity and fire led him to be and breed brilliant minds. This community of intentional direction of knowledge made every person who was a part of it accelerate their growth.
So, how do we keep this free-flowing constant energy alive? Mentorship, baby.
In Part I of our Essential Mentorship Guide, we went over why mentorship is the skill to hone for professional and personal bliss, how to build a strong foundation for it and how to identify and become both a great mentor and mentee in all areas of life.
Part II takes us deeper and further into our secret sauce for growth—specifically how to actually do this mentorship thing with someone (or multiple someones) and make a lasting impact. It’s so simple, you’re going to wonder how you don’t intentionally do more of this in the first place!
Are you excited? Cause I’m excited! Let’s get into it.
HOW: 3 Truths and a Lie On How You “Should” Mentor
Although we went full-deep-dive in the whys and whos of mentorship in Part I, let’s dive into and break down my signature mentorship case study: ELLA (a wordplay on the word “her” in Spanish that also stands for Entrepreneur Latina Leaders of America).
In 2015, I found myself in a unique position.
I had been on the board of the Tennessee Latin American Chamber of Commerce for six years and had already observed the needs of the members when I became president. I realized the majority of women who could only be served by my specific position were women micropreneurs. We had a photographer, a housekeeper, a graphic designer, a fitness pole dancing instructor and a woman who made empanadas among the others in our group.
I asked myself: who in the city could help them?
I quickly found out that the city offered communities and programs for small business owners—if they were making over $250k annually (ahem, not even me at the time)—or programs geared toward tech and healthcare businesses—categories where these women didn't fit. They were also all in English and in American culture, which wasn't how most of the women in the group were navigating their lives at the time.
Here’s how I understood the dynamic:
It was their first business and they couldn’t take advantage of bigger services offered at the time.
Their preferred language was Spanish.
All but one were foreign-born and they all still remained more toward Latina culture instead of an American one.
Keeping these in mind, I wanted to create something where they could be seen and heard, feel that they belonged and feel safe. I knew that if they didn’t feel safe, there wouldn’t be space for growth because they’d be occupied with judging themselves instead. You have to find places where it's safe for all of our being so that there’s room for growth.
Truth #1: When you don’t feel safe in an environment (mentally, not just physically), you can’t grow.
So I got started. I asked each woman which two goals they wanted to accomplish this year and, if I couldn’t help them myself, I found other mentors willing to step in. Some things they needed were as basic as designing a business card, and sometimes what they really needed was to be listened to. If they came in with a heavy burden, for example, we would sit down at our monthly three-hour meeting and spend time listening and counseling on a personal level—not even a business one.
We discover over the course of our lives that, as humans, every aspect of our lives is only in one body. We don’t have a business body or a personal “at-home” body. Everything is all in one body.
I’ve always believed that you can’t leave your personal life at home because engaging with it is part of our daily process. Sure, we get work done, but everything that happens to us on a daily basis is part of our story at the end of the day—every single day—whether that’s getting to and from work or dealing with a family emergency or taking care of our kids.
Some women had to bring their children in the summer months and instead of apologizing or making them feel like they were a burden, we welcomed them. We tweaked some topics when kids were around. It’s a part of who they are: they are a mom, an entrepreneur, a wife—you are all part of ONE. They are not as separate as you think.
Accepting, understanding and working with (not against) this simple fact will do wonders in your personal and professional life.
Truth #2: We bring all of us with us everywhere we go in our ONE body. We can’t divide ourselves into “work” and “personal” bodies and minds. When we personally grow, our business grows alongside us, and vice versa.
A huge benefit of accepting this truth was how fun it was to watch as they also helped each other grow. Mentoring done right is fulfilling, there is no denying it. We have the opportunity now to be however we want to be, pursue whatever we want to pursue and fulfill our potential with growth. That is rewarding.
In some cases as a mentor, we need to console, hug, pray or laugh. The majority of humans believe that what’s happening to them is not happening to anyone else or that they are “too stupid” to figure out certain things.
When the ELLA participants were asked what they loved most about the program, the common thread was the fact they had a community that they could share with, and realize they were not the only ones going through a challenge.
Truth #3: Community can help build confidence and stamp out fear of growth or loneliness.
Most importantly, we need to just be there, arms and hearts open. This is especially true for mentees who might lack experience in certain areas or just in life. Everyone needs to feel supported. You are a source of support for them.
This is as easy as letting your mentee, your nieces or kids, or students know that you are proud of them. That every decision they make creates their future so focus on what you really want and make wise choices. This is letting them know that they are not on their own throughout any challenges they might be facing.
This is especially true when you might not think they are on the right path, and having them acknowledge that is not easy. You have to give people the space and the opportunity to realize they need a U-turn and be proud of them for that.
As mentors, we can sometimes fall into the trap of imposing what we want for people and what we think they should do. It’s important to leave space and allow people to make their own decisions, allow them to make those u-turns and roundabouts, and still be there as a mentor and—crucially—as someone who is willing to listen.
The Lie: As a mentor, you give directions to your mentees on where they should go.
BONUS Truth #4: As a mentor, you guide your mentees and give them space to make their own decisions—even if it’s not the choice you would’ve made (especially if it’s not!). Feeling supported goes a long way in achieving growth.
So WHAT Exactly Is Mentorship and WHERE Does It Happen?
I’ve saved these two babies for last since the real answer is sort of ambiguous.
This is how I see it: Not only is mentorship a natural ping-pong progression of growth between mentor and mentee, it’s a lifelong path of being able to truly see and welcome others for who they truly are as you guide them with empathy and equity as best you can.
Where? Anywhere you choose to be in or find yourself in where you can connect with others. This is half chance and half putting yourself out there. Seek others on your level or the level that you want to be in any aspect of your life where they can be in a position to help you if you ask.
This is the bare-bones version of what networking is really about—check out how it’s the #1 ingredient for creating a sustainable business here.
At the end of the day, mentorship and growth have one thing in common: connection. The more you connect with others, the more you connect with yourself and your business, and the more growth your life will experience because of this.
So, for those of you who got to the end of Part I, I hope through following along until now that you’ve guessed the most important puzzle piece in mentorship: connection.
Connection drives real, lasting and sustainable growth. And how do you connect with someone else in any area of your life? As we’ve learned, mentorship is key.
At Culture Shift Team, the multicultural marketing and DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) firm I co-founded, we strive to make those connections happen within you and your company and outside of them. We connect your business to itself, power charge it and make it feel as steady as your treadmill’s incline. We specialize in connecting you to those around you who’d see that growth and would like to be a part of it with you.
That’s how our team builds on mentorship, community and connection to accelerate growth like energizer bunnies on wheels (so we can obviously all holler “Let’s grow!” together!). Chat with us here, to see how we can get you on the fastest-growing business track around. ;)
That’s it for my Mentorship 101: Essential Guide series! I hope this proved helpful and gave you insight into mentoring others, including yourself.
I’d love to hear from you, your personal experiences with mentorship and what you’ve learned over the years.