Building a Solo Life: From Going to the Movies Alone to 70 Cities Across the World
Author Marcela Gómez, CEO of Culture Shift Team and former (and future) digital nomad shares how she built courage through solo experiences, and traveled 70 cities across 12 countries at 57, 58 & 59. From dining alone to overcoming societal judgments, her journey shows the power of living life on your own terms
At the age of 57, I embarked on a life-changing adventure as a digital nomad, traveling for 20 months across 12 countries and 70 cities. I spent 99% of that time on my own, navigating the world one step at a time. While this may sound bold and inspiring, my solo lifestyle didn’t begin with a passport and a packed suitcase—it started much earlier, with an act that may seem small but was profoundly transformative: taking myself to the movies alone.
The First Step: Going Solo to the Movies
For many women, going to the movies by themselves can feel awkward or even intimidating. We’re often conditioned to think that doing things alone signals loneliness or a lack of social connections. When I first decided to see a movie solo, I had to confront these internalized fears head-on.
At the theater, I felt as though every pair of eyes was on me, silently wondering why I was there alone. To cope, I invented a story in my mind—a character who was waiting for her plus-one, perhaps someone still in the concession line. This small narrative eased my anxiety, allowing me to focus on the film. Once the lights dimmed and the story unfolded on screen, I forgot about everything else. Over time, this practice became less about imaginary characters and more about embracing my independence.
From movies, I progressed to attending the ballet, opera, and symphony alone, each time pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone. These solo outings, awkward at first, became a gateway to a fuller, richer life.
The Next Challenge: Dining Alone
Dining alone was another hurdle. Unlike traveling for business, where eating solo is commonplace and expected, sitting alone at a restaurant in your hometown can feel exposing. What if someone I know sees me? What will they think?
To ease the discomfort, I approached dining alone as if I were still on a business trip. In my mind, I was "traveling for work," even if I was just down the street. This mindset helped me overcome the initial unease. Over time, I learned to enjoy my own company at restaurants, often with a podcast or audiobook playing in my ears to create a sense of companionship.
Of course, there were challenges. In some restaurants, I was met with pitying looks or even poor service—such as being seated by the kitchen or ignored altogether. While these experiences were disheartening, they also taught me resilience and the importance of self-advocacy.
During my 25-day stay in Florence, Italy in 2023, I walked out of a restaurant after waiting about 10 minutes to be acknowledged. There were only two tables with people; the rest were empty. The servers saw me walk in, sit at a table, read the menu, and wave to them to come take my order. Nothing happened. At first, I thought perhaps they didn’t see me, but after a couple more attempts at getting their attention, I realized they did not want to wait on me. I got up and walked out as they watched me leave. Perhaps they didn’t like me, or perhaps it was because I was a solo guest.
These moments, though frustrating, strengthened my resolve to continue to enjoy my life.
Building the Courage to Travel Solo
By the time I decided to embrace the digital nomad lifestyle, I had spent over a decade mastering the art of doing things alone. These small acts of independence—going to movies, dining out, attending cultural events—became the foundation for a life of solo travel.
When I left New York City at 57, I planned a four-month journey, which eventually turned into a 20-month odyssey. I put my belongings in storage and embarked on an adventure that would take me through bustling airports, cozy Airbnbs, and historic cities. Traveling alone required the same courage I had built years earlier but on a larger scale.
The Reality of Solo Travel as a Woman
Traveling solo as a woman comes with unique challenges, particularly around safety. In cities like Florence and Valencia, where I stayed for several weeks, I was cautious about venturing out alone late at night. While I enjoyed the occasional evening stroll or concert, I prioritized well-lit areas and avoided unnecessary risks.
Dining alone in foreign countries also brought its own set of experiences. In Italy, I was often met with looks of pity when I requested a table for one. In some cases, I wasn’t served at all and had to leave the restaurant.
A friend of mine had a similar experience while taking a solo transatlantic cruise in 2024. She wanted to enjoy the ocean view during dinner and asked for a table by the window. The hostess informed her that those tables were reserved for couples only. My friend, who is not someone to back down, responded calmly but firmly: “I paid for a two-person cabin; I am sitting at the table by the window.” And she did.
In a world made for couples or twosomes, single people must build the courage to create the life we want.
There’s also the occasional awkwardness of sitting at a bar as a single woman. While some interactions were friendly, others made me feel uncomfortable—such as receiving unsolicited phone numbers from strangers. These experiences highlighted the societal expectations and assumptions women often face when they are alone in public spaces.
Lessons from 20 Months on the Road
Through all the challenges, solo travel has been one of the most empowering experiences of my life. It has taught me to value my own company, trust my instincts, and find joy in the freedom to explore the world on my own terms.
I’ve learned that courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s the willingness to move forward despite it. Whether it’s walking into a theater alone or navigating a new city halfway across the world, every step has been a testament to the power of embracing independence.
Why This Journey Matters
Becoming a digital nomad at 57 wasn’t just about seeing new places; it was about reclaiming my life. It was a reminder that we don’t need to wait for someone else to validate our experiences or join us on our journey. The courage to live fully starts with small, everyday acts of independence.
So, if you’re considering a solo adventure—whether it’s a trip to the movies or a plane ticket to a faraway land—take that first step. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but I promise, it will be worth it. The world is waiting, and so is the best version of you.
Here are three key questions to help you reflect and share your own experiences, if you’d like to.
What is one activity you’ve always wanted to do alone but have hesitated because of societal expectations or personal fears? How can you take the first step toward doing it?
Have you ever faced judgment or discomfort when dining, traveling, or attending events solo? How did you handle it, and what did you learn about yourself through the experience?
If you’ve embarked on a solo journey—whether small, like going to the movies, or big, like traveling abroad—how did it change your perspective on independence and self-worth?