The Cultural Cage: How to Break Free From Your Cultural Biases & Use Your Culture to Your Advantage
The Top Four Cultural Faux Pas People Make and Four Nuggets of Wisdom to Focus On Instead
Marcela Gómez, CEO of Culture Shift Team, smiles in her high school yearbook in 1981—the year she experienced major culture shock for the first time when moving from Bogotá, Colombia to Charlotte, North Carolina.
We’ve all heard about those couples that, with just one look, fall in love—and then find out they don’t speak the same language. Regardless of what would seem like a dealbreaker, these pairs are just getting started on their romantic adventure, even for life sometimes. If you’re a Love Actually fan like me, then you know the best love story in that iconic movie is between Colin Firth and Lúcia Moniz’s characters: English Jamie and Portuguese Aurelie fall in love without a word spoken in each other’s language. So, if getting lost in translation doesn’t break apart a significant connection, what does?
The strongest barrier there isn’t language. It’s what I like to call the Invisible Culprit: culture.
Over the course of almost my entire life, I’ve seen how culture completely takes people for a spin and throws them off their tracks. I’ve observed (and experienced!) the top four mistakes I deem the Four Horsemen of the Cultural Faux Pas Apocalypse—and I’ve also learned a wise thing, or four, about what to do instead. These will serve you well, both in business and in life, long after you read them.
The Four Horsemen of the Cultural Faux Pas Apocalypse
Mistake #1: You only see life from your own perspective.
When you are thrown into a completely different culture, whether by romantic choice or not, It makes you feel like you don’t know what’s going on. That’s how I felt for the first time when I moved from Bogotá, Colombia to Charlotte, North Carolina at the tender age of 16. In 1981, as a fresh sophomore in my new American school, it wasn’t the language that I couldn’t understand. It was the daily life that was completely foreign to me. I couldn’t understand why girls wore makeup to school or why the students were so disrespectful to the teachers. But then again, why did those things bother me? Was it bad to wear makeup in school? Were those students really that disrespectful to the teachers?
As a teenage girl arriving to another country and environment, I had begun to make what is probably the most common and ongoing of cultural no-nos. I started assuming and judging others from my own cultural lens, without regard to what the reality of my current culture was. As humans, when we don’t understand what’s happening in front of us, we take a step back instead of leaning in. No one wants to say, “Hey, help me out!” (Especially not an obviously foreign-born new student with a heavy accent.) Instead, we shut our emotional doors on a regular basis and, on top of that, we tell ourselves, “I don’t fit in here.” Ouch. Try playing up your curiosity in lieu of slamming the door shut on yourself and the world.
Mistake #2: You underestimate the value of your experiences—and most importantly, your voice.
Fast forward 21 years to Nashville, Tennessee. As a single mother who’d just been laid off from her job, I drove up and down Nolensville Pike questioning what in the world I was supposed to do now. Nolensville Pike is Nashville’s most ethnically diverse area, but even then the huge billboard that said “CALL 911” in Spanish caught me off guard. My first reaction was, “Why do they want people to do that?” Sure, in the U.S. most people know that 911 is the emergency dial number, but that number could be a laundry service in another country for all I know!
Two realizations struck me like a bolt of lightning in that moment:
Companies in the area didn’t understand the difference between language and culture—or how to reach different markets. They had literally translated the phrase, sure, but it wasn’t a language issue they had, it was more than that. There was no context.
My services as a marketer who had experienced culture shock first-hand from simultaneously living in two distinct cultures were indeed valuable—and very needed. Although my lived experience and skills I had grown up with and navigated were hard to translate (no pun intended), they were worth a lot.
Mistake #3: You assume you know your target audience because you identify with them.
A slew of misunderstandings ensue. Here are two:
A: “What part of Mexico are you from?”
Me: “I’m not Mexican, I’m Colombian.”
A: *Puzzled look* “So, you must love spicy food!”
Me: “We don’t eat spicy food in Colombia.”
Cue the confused outrage.
Me: “Oooh, I love cold weather! Can’t stand the heat.”
A: “But you’re from the tropics—South America?”
Me: “I’m from Bogotá—a city almost 9,000 feet above sea level in the Andes…”
Cue the shock.
This is normal. As these well-intentioned folks were sliding into Mistake #1, I was slipping into Mistake #3—I thought I knew about all Hispanics just because I was a teeny part of that group. I had to learn what it meant to be Colombian and Hispanic (both!) to an outsider—and of course, a bit of self-discovery was sprinkled along the way. Looking at yourself as if you were part of a target audience entices you to understand target market research for what it is: a beautiful exploration of who people really are.
Mistake #4: You assume everyone is starting from the same page you are.
Here’s a usual conversation starter that mimics a slap in the face the first time around:
Clients: “I want to target the Hispanics.” Me: “Okay, great! Which ones?” Silence.
This can happen with anyone, but with a client just remember that they are hiring you for a reason (your knowledge, your value, and your VOICE). Don’t forget that (see imposter syndrome, or reread Mistake #2). Always meet your client or person you’re with, where they are at.
Now that we’ve covered some cultural slips, here are some gold beams of wisdom that you can look toward to save you from them instead.
The Four Levelheaded Lessons You Need
Lesson #1: NEVER Skip this Crucial Step If You Want Actual Connection.
Yes, you will have to dig for these gold nuggets yourself. It’s your favorite time-consuming, eye-soreness-creating task: research. I know we alluded to this a teeny bit on Mistakes #2 and #3 above, but I will mention it here again since this is the #1 indicator of how well the rest of your marketing goes—and yes, this goes for every business. Research forces you to shovel up the surface dirt and find out the deeper reasoning for WHY something is happening or people are the way they are.
Lesson #2: Know why you do what you do.
You know the #1 response I get from the people I help? And no, I am not talking about my clients (although I loveeeee helping them!), I’m talking about the people THEY help. I know that I’ve done my work (read: passion) when I’m impacting the right people. They give me a simple “Thank you”—for helping them understand something, for helping them feel seen and for helping them feel heard. I am satisfied with what I’ve done because I really do love to do this work, know why I’m doing it, and for who.
Lesson #3: It’s not so much about understanding as it is about listening.
The whole process of listening is not only beautiful, it’s fascinating. You get to learn about similar or wildly different experiences from your own. It makes you reanalyze yourself, your thoughts and beliefs, and discover who you are alongside discovering who others are. This is what creates empathy and compassion. Even if you don’t agree with some people’s opinions, you cannot deny their experiences. In the last few years things have changed and now everyone I think of has a voice. So if you’re concerned about conflicts in conversation, especially with folks who historically didn’t have a voice and now do, instead of trying to understand them, just try to listen to them.
Lesson #4: It’s not useful to focus on just similarities or differences—you need both.
This is highly important when creating something—whether you're building a business or crafting a message. Focus too much on either one of these by themselves, and you will find yourself frustrated and missing crucial pieces of the puzzle. There are little things that may be important for others, and not for you, and vice versa. This is because of the simple fact that people, depending on their culture and experiences, have very different ways of looking at their lives. By incorporating both similarities and differences you paint a better, fuller picture of someone and give them respect as you do.
Okay so recap: don’t assume, presume, or anything with -ume in it, from solely your point of view. Try to coax your curiosity out instead of retreating from difference, and trust in your own voice and abilities. (If you have to repeat “I am capable” as a mantra, do it!) There is always room to learn about yourself, especially if you’re part of a target market and get on the same level as the people who you are speaking with—you might not be starting from the same page. On top of that: do your research and do it well, stay strong in your why, aim to listen versus understanding, and focus on both similarities and differences. These will serve you well in both your business and personal life (and most certainly in your interlinguistic relationship, if you have one of those or are looking for one!).
Culture Shift Team, the cultural and DEI firm I co-founded, helps clients identify cultural (okay, and linguistic) barriers that prevent people from connecting authentically. Most importantly, we help corporate and non-profit leaders do exactly this with their target audience.
See how we can help you and your team here. We’d love to chat with you!